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5 Fool Proof Signs You’ve Found a Good Partner

“When you know, you know.”

Those words may seem corny to some of us, stupid to others, but to some it may just make perfect sense. Being a girl in this generation, there’s an unspoken pressure to be in a relationship. Why are men seen as “tied down” when they’re in relationships, but when women are single, they think they can’t lock down a man so there must be something wrong with them? Ladies, snap out of it.

First things first, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being single. In fact, every girl should experience a majority of her young life alone. No, not a loner who doesn’t have any friends. We’re talking free of romantic commitment. A lot of beautiful things can come from being single, including building strong bonds with your friends, making selfish decisions, and really understanding what you want in a partner. You can still date, and flirt, and enjoy yourself, but don’t tie yourself down to just anyone.

That is the key takeaway from this. Wait until you’ve found a good one. But how do you know if they’re a good one? There seems to be a lot of contradicting opinions out there on what makes a strong relationship. You’re constantly receiving different pieces of advice from your friends, your family, strangers on the internet, etc. How do you know if those red flags are real warning signs or if it’s you just “being picky”?

The best advice? Be damn picky!

No one can tell you who to date, who makes you happy, and what to do in a relationship. But these are five fool proof ways to tell if you found a good one.

Are they the one? That’s up to you. But be picky until you can check off these boxes. Don’t settle for less because life is too short and your time is too valuable to be wasted in unhappy relationships.

1. You feel confident in your own skin

Nothing is more important than your confidence. Now, it’s rare that anyone is super comfortable in a relationship right off the bat. However, you’ll know rather quickly if they make you feel good about yourself or not. You may not be into super romantic gestures or corny texts throughout the day, but every girl deserves to feel beautiful. It’s damn hard to feel confident all the time, especially when it’s just one of those days where you feel ugly and bloated and wonder how anyone could look at you and find you attractive.

What you’ll come to learn is how appreciative you are to have found someone that says ,”hey, you’re cute” when you haven’t showered for three days because you’re binge watching Criminal Minds. Or someone that says “you’re beautiful regardless” when you say you feel chubby and need to go to the gym. If the person you’re with doesn’t make you feel confident enough to walk around with your bra on, wearing baggy sweats, and hair full of dry shampoo… they don’t deserve you.

2. They aren’t afraid to talk about the future with you

By the future, i’m not just referring to getting married and having lots of cute babies. It all depends what stage in your life you are at, so this will be different for everyone. What remains the same is they aren’t afraid to commit to you. They talk about “what ifs”. They don’t become socially awkward when you make a comment about what a good parent they would make or avoid talking about meeting the family for the first time. They don’t change subjects when you talk about an event coming up next year that you want to go to together, or hide you from their friends.

Regardless of the extremity of the conversations, it shows commitment. It shows that they aren’t in this just for kicks. What they see with you now is real enough to talk about a potential future. If you’re with someone who refuses to talk about where they see your relationship in 6 months, a year, 5 years, they’re probably not ready to be in a serious relationship. If you want those conversations to be made, don’t wait for the wrong person to finally come around, and don’t force them to be ready when they’re not. The right one for you will be on the same page and you’ll know it.

3. The thought of cheating on them makes you sick

Some people may find this extreme, but it’s important. It’s tough living in today’s society being so wrapped up in idolizing celebrities with unrealistic lifestyles and being immersed in pop culture that thrives on vulgarity and shock factor. Why has it become “out of style” for guys to remain faithful to their girlfriends? Infidelity has become something we’re accustomed to and it’s absolutely horrible.

That being said, temptation is out there. Not just for one sex, but for any normal human being. You’re not in the wrong for finding other people attractive, you’re not a horrible person for accepting a drink from a nice guy at a bar, and you’re not insane for having a weird little crush on your boss when you’re already in a happy relationship. What you’ll find to be the undeniable factor that you’ve found the right one, is the thought of acting on these impulses and giving into a second of satisfaction physically seems impossible. Your mind changes when you’ve found someone that potentially hurting completely replaces any sort of temptation you may have acted on at a different point in your life.

When you find someone who you can’t hurt, then you know they’re a good one.

4. Your fights are few and civil

These days you’ll hear people advocating that fighting all the time is normal because you love each other or you’ll see someone trying to argue that nasty fights are a sign of a passionate relationship. Of course, no relationship is going to be flowers and rainbows all the time and it’s very important to be able to overcome hard times with your S.O. But please stop and take a good hard look at what you’re fighting about. If you have to justify the validity of your relationship with “passion” because you fight so much, get out now.

You should be with someone who doesn’t start an argument with you every day over a like on Instagram, or someone who boils your blood so much you can’t express what you’re feeling without getting into a screaming match. A fight every once in a while is okay, some even say healthy. But you shouldn’t be fighting often, and when you do, they should be civil. You shouldn’t be forced to tears from hurtful comments, or dealing with someone who damages your belongings when they’re mad, or god forbid someone who gets physical with you.

No relationship is perfect and there will be disagreements, but anyone who says fighting all the time is healthy, hasn’t found the right person for them.

5. Your values align

In the end and after all the glitz and glam, a good relationship starts with aligning values. Going along with some of the same ideas as point number 4, you and your partner are allowed to disagree on things. Whether that be as simple as how cold you want the AC when you sleep or as important as your religious backgrounds, all these things should be discussed but shouldn’t be deciding factors in your relationship. What should be most important are your morals and your values.

Do they look at the world in the same way as you do? What kind of household do they want to raise their kids in? What are their beliefs on the things in life that are most important to you?

These are the questions you should be asking. In the end, being with someone who sleeps with the heat on may seem like something out of a nightmare… but if that person’s values align with yours and you’re morally on the same page, you can work through the small stuff. Your right person will align with you, and you’ll be thankful that you found them.